You Might Be A Nerd If...

You Might Be a Nerd If….
…you are 60 years old and writing about ideal weight charts.
…you both skinny and fat in the gym and pull a weight lifting chart out or your pocket.
… your pockets are full of flash drives, paper, pocket knife, keys, change, tissues…
... you get excited about your new blue uniforms.
... it takes two trips to the car to return library books.
…you do not change socks before jogging.

That is right, I am talking about myself.  I am feeling a little bit guilty talking about ideal body measurements when I struggle to touch my toes, have varicose veins, a receding hair line, and can not quite seem to get rid of my love handles.
How did I get the number one page on the internet when one searches for the ideal body measurements for women and the ideal body measurements for men?   I do not even like the idea of perfection, and I would hate to be in a relationship with someone who was obsessed with having an ideal body.  My intent was really to show that when it comes to “ideal” everyone has a different idea, and it is what you think is ok that really matters. (and I really like charts and numbers.)

more nerd jokes:

Here is what one college student ( http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~garthman/nerd.html ) thinks:

You might be a nerd if:

...if you've ever emailed or ICQed your roommate.

...if you know more people online than in person.

... if you feel naked without a keyboard.

...if you carry a voltmeter with you.

...if you get excited when someone mentions vectors.

...if you know more than one programming language.

...if you can carry on conversations in C++.

...if you talk to your computer and it doesn't seem to be listening.

...if you make friends by fixing people's computers.

...if you have a drawer full of spare hard drives.

...if you print out your math homework on your computer.

...if you wear a necktie because it's stylish and "chicks dig it."

...if you're not quite sure what a chick is.

...if you go to a school with the words "Institute of Technology" in the name.

...if your SAT score was higher than your total income for that year.

...if you know pi to more than 4 significant digits.

...if you know your IQ to more than 2 significant digits.

...if you know what significant digits are.

...if you can convert any quantity from mks to cgs in your head.

...if you understood that last indicator.

...if you've read more books than your local librarian.

...if the majority of your personal library consists of Arthur C. Clarke,
Isaac Asimov, and Newton.

You might be a math nerd if:

...you reach for your trusty text editor before Word

...you understand all the buttons on your calculator

...prime numbers jump out atcha

...you've calculated your change due before the cashier

You might be an excel nerd if:

...the majority of your toolbar buttons are self-drawn.

...a copy of Excel is always open so you can quickly calculate whatever comes up during the work day



It is 3:44 in the morning and I can not sleep. I just got my book on Amazon. Check it out by clicking on the picture of the nerd below:

Me the Weight Loss Engineer



I feel like this from the movie "The Jerk" when Navin got his name in the phone book:


Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
[the Sniper points to Navin's name in the phone book]
Sniper: Johnson, Navin R... sounds like a typical bastard.



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old nerds never abend Not rated yet
You are an old nerd if.....you not only know what punch cards are - you coded on them - extra points if you still have the program decks in your attic. …

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You might be a gardening nerd if.... Not rated yet
You remember the latin names of plants but not the common ones.

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